Thursday, October 11, 2007
last day of school today, memorable events: sitting standing sitting standing aaaaand sitting standing, laughing, feeling miffed, sitting, standing, laughing and laughing and sitting and standing. and finally sitting and standing. oh! and false fire alarms. and more sitting. and standing.
report books, mock english thingy, it was a pretty non-day actually...
i'm not into the whole putyourarmaroundpeopleandsing thing. they sing songs for the sentimental value, but do they know what they're singing? do they grasp the meaning of the lyrics? is it only me who doesn't sing what they don't believe in?? it's so terribly true - Christians don't tell lies, they sing them.
suddenly i'm glad that i'm going to kunming, but i don't know why.
so many what-ifs are running through my head right now, mostly about the o levels. i want to stop thinking about it but i just can't because it's always just there, when i lie down to rest it there bugging the brains out of me in evey sense of the phrase then i'm not resting anymore i'm thinking about it. and it's not even a desperately seriously serious life-changing thing to think about. or is it? are o levels really that important?
ethel says i'm stoning a lot, but i'm not, coz i don't really stone much it's such a non thing to do. then she said i was pebbling, which is probably more right coz thinking sounds more like pebbling than it does stoning, it's more like weighing things out than looking at smooth hewn grayness.
if only it would be a week to o levels everyday, the motivation of.. fear? would still be there, and i'd still have time to do things. life's like an hourglass glued to the table, anna nalick couldn't be more right there. i should have started such a long time ago. i havent' even started on ss and lit? my head is all kinda warped and screwy. everything is so overwhelming, it's hard to concentrate, but i can focus if i want to.
i'm just thanking God that i have Him to turn to, because seriously i have no idea how those without His strength is managing.
10:35 pm
