"Greater love has no one than this,
that he lay down his life for his friends."

John 15:13

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i've been sick since monday which sucks to the maxest coz my op is on tues so i have to get my throat okay by then. which i have no power over so i'm praying really hard.

thank goodness monday was a holiday, coz i was feeling terrible the night before and slept at like 10 and woke up at 10 plus, went down for breakfast, slept til lunch, watched tv/slept til dinner, bummed around a bit then slept at 10 again. and coz of pw i went to school.. kay well actually it's more coz of morning worship, but i was so tired i couldnt even stand properly. when i got home i slept for another 3 and a half hours. maybe it's from all the late nights of pw.

yup, just blaaame it on the pw hahah.

yesterday was a pretty good day though, the morning anyway =) the afternoon was more stressful and pressurising than it needed to be, i'm beginning to rather not like guys that age. they talk far too much and think everyone else are kids. thanks for the prayer though tricia =) got home aaand slept for another 3 hours. i think i couldve slept through the night, but i hadnt eaten so.

just wrote up my schedule for november which alternates between ocip and pw with seriously no time to spare and how naive i was to think that i'd be freer after pw ended. programmes hasnt even started doing anything yet. shucks. and i seriously need to meet the exco.

i'm not going to sleep anymore. time to get up and open my eyes.

the car got hit by another car when jie was driving to school yesterday, praise God that she's alright! between the time when i heard the word 'accident' and 'she's okay' i think my heart stopped beating for a sec and the main thing i felt was disbelief. some days when i'm conscious enough in the morning, i wake up and know that i'm not going to die today coz there's so much more that God wants me to do. which makes me want to Go Out and Do Things coz i dont want to waste any Time.

when i was most sick i found it the most hard to cry out, even though i knew that's all i needed to do. but the night before i read Job, and he lost everything, his health problem was waaaay worse than just aches and flu but his focus was so clear and so unclouded. and the next night, i read isaiah 53:5 which was just nice for claiming:

'But he was pierced for our transgressions,
he was crushed for our iniquities;
the punishment that brought us peace was upon him,
and by his wounds we are healed. '

and really, who else would understand? and who else would have the power to do anything about it? coz i'm seriously feeling better already and i know i'll be okay before tuesday.

wow.

the wr is. like gone! all gone =D *beeeaams*

not without a fight of course. first the printing went wrong, so jiang jun went off, i got the wr burned into cd, went home, and the rest went to the science centre. i come home and get frowned upon by mum for not going since its free without listening to my reasoning about oneway bus trips and ditching us in jurong. hmph. so i go watch csi waiting for my grey's to start then jiang jun calls and sounds super panicky saying the colour didnt work anddoihaveacolourprintercozthebindingshopclosesat4.30andifnotwe'reprettyscrewed. and i was all clean and showered and sleepy and ready for grey's.

at least i got a ride to school - thanks dad! =) anywho, now i know why i didnt go to the science centre yay =)

it's been a pretty crappy week though. feel very uneasy inside and i dont know why. k i have a gut feeling and it's not a good one even though i know it's probably true.

time. veryvery sucky. and so is no candycanes in october.

chesed says: life is sweet, life is simple. fullstop period.

they're all good people, they have good hearts and they know what's right and what's wrong, and it really really sucks that they have no clue what's in store for them and how much more they fully deserve. and even if they do live til a hundred and ten doing a whole lot of community work, it's all useless and pointless because it doesnt have any longrun effect and they are really wasting their life. and why is it that i know all this and dont tell them. that's probably the part that makes it all so much worse. i hear what they say, i see how they live, the hurts and the evils that are slowly eating them away and i stay quiet. so who's committing the sin here.

freedom is doing what you want, when you want to and not having to feel like you should be doing something more important. it's waking up in the morning feeling refreshed and starting on Christmas cards because there is nothing else that is more important and you want to do it. it's being able to walk across the street and sit in a tree singing aloud without people looking at you weird. and it's not having that tired feeling around the bottom of your eyes and biking around the block coz you feel like there's nothing better to do than what you're doing now. and it's to just sit and talk like you have all the time in the world.

i need to sleep. and pray. aaand rest.

alrighty just a quick update.

praise God for bringing me promos, and this whole year man.

results:

Maths - A
Econs - B
Physics - B
China Studies - B
GP - B

total rank points is 72.5 or something haha. and my econs was exactly on 60. just like my dream =)

to get my meaning across..

'In Christ alone
I place my trust
And find my glory in the power of the cross
In every victory
Let it be said of me
My source of strength
My source of hope
Is Christ alone'

'Praise God, from Whom all blessings flow;
Praise Him, all creatures here below;
Praise Him above, ye heav’nly host;
Praise Father, Son, and Holy Ghost.'

'This is my prayer in the harvest
When favor and providence flow
I know I'm filled to be emptied again
The seed I've recieved I will sow'

at least i survived the week =) went out for dinner with sammie, sed and wenn (sounds like sooty sweep and sue haha) at some place at dhobyexchange with free flow of icecream omger so that was like awesome. methinks i could've eaten more but the rest were full haha. had a good time, that was after the meeting with the teachers on thursday

friday there was cca! for a little while but i really liked the energy. guitar after - the last proper lesson, nearly fell asleep though heh.

iceskating on saturday! yayy =) 10 of us ended up going which was the most successful class outing so to speak.. went all the way to jurong and i havent forgotten haha and we all fell at least once and yeah. misses paradice and the skating nights in pigeon mountain. they played complicated which like brought me back aaall the way to like year 5? haha

went for dinner at sakura buffet and i ate til i couldnt move hahah. had so much salmon sashimi i was super grateful i didn't get sick the next day. got back at like 11 plus but that was alright coz it was saturday and yeh.

service and cell on sunday. and the p6 camp meeting. hm. rachel got me the book so that was coolbeans coz it's hard cover and everything too =) went home and watched jaws like *blood* and it's an awesome movie coz everytime you watch it you feel the same as the first time you saw it. not many movies can do that.. for lotr it's like wine coz everytime i watch it i get warmer fuzzier feelings of a time that is getting further and further away.

needa do qt soon. i got psalm 81 the other day and i was like alrightalright i get you. but i feel like.. grosser for everyday that passes by.

peranakan food rocks.

the day's improving =)

coz it's nearing the end. we're meeting the teachers today so we're gonna get going on some of the carolling and cip and chapel band and whatnot that we talked about last week yay. words into action people! and dinner after

i'm getting sick of pedubdue.. might not go to school tmr HEH. at least my I&R is somewhat settled for now.

um.

sometimes, you just want someone that you can talk to nonstop about in your class.

received a message that wasn't that nice today. i was really shocked. and i dont know if it was out of spite, or jealousy or honest emotions. which kinda sucked since it was pretty harsh and snipy and yeah. everytime i think about it this hot liquid anger rushes up from below and i dont want it to. i dont want to feel that way and i dont want to dwell on it.

there's a line between justice and forgiveness but i dont want to know what the fair thing to do is, i want to know what the right thing to do is; it hurt.

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but pw didnt go that badly today. got tons of things done =) like the title and bits of the op which is awesome. really thank God for the group. reallyreally.

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the exco meeting on friday was good =) managed to get all the stuff out that i needed to and got some things settled too!

kelly emailed today. and i miss macleans. everytime i think i've forgotten or gone past it something makes me return and the wave of whoknowswhat washes over. it's like a mix of regret, longing, nostalgia all rolled into one. and it still sucks that i can't go back at the end of this year. but i'm glad she emailed

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a bit of he said she said now:

"Since you are my rock and my fortress,
for the sake of your name lead and guide me." Psalm 31 vs 3

"Love the LORD, all his saints!
The LORD preserves the faithful,
but the proud he pays back in full.

Be strong and take heart,
all you who hope in the LORD." Psalm 31 vs 23-24

"I sought the LORD, and he answered me;
he delivered me from all my fears. " Psalm 34 vs 4

"Fear the LORD, you his saints,
for those who fear him lack nothing." Psalm 34 vs 9