"Greater love has no one than this,
that he lay down his life for his friends."

John 15:13

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my last day of being 16 - how did it feel?

i'll miss it, i had lots of memories of being sweet sixteen forevaa in sec4 haha =) went back to pl after the teachers' day celebrations at sa - which was pretty cool, but not very personal coz they havent done anything for me.. yet - met jeli and we were just in time too, we were at the traffic light when suddenly the whole place was filled with mnm coloured pple swarming all over.

yay for handy handphones and their numbers! managed to catch ms loh when she got up the lift, and gave her the rose from me and ethel coz i cant even fathom how much she helped us during the o levels. like she gave up her national day holiday just for us. at her house. like seriously =D

then we managed to find mr lim which was a change from the last years and he was wearing his new lilac shirt according to jo. gave him his rose and he seemed very surprised (pleasantly methinks) and he was like 'eh! thanks for coming back (repeats it as he does)' which struck me as kinda strange.. coz lots of other ppl came back too? oh well. didnt have much time to talk but i had a whole lot i wanted to tell him and jeli was..not herself, but yeah. you know dear i'm feeling rather good about myself coz i managed to understand the chinese on your blog so yup *beams*

went to cafe cartel at hougang for lunch, just to run away from the mnms crowding the bus stop, it's nice to just meander at last after running in one lane for so long. had a good lunch with jeli, i've missed her so much, conversation just never ran out some how, everything just.. flows. ethel came and joined us too after her presentation which was awesome and we all sat at cafe cartel for about 2-3 hours just talking and listening and it felt so good. like something was restored and made right in those few hours. if only alyssa was there too. ahh to go back to those days in the canteen..

had my hair cut today too. it's a bit too shortish. but it's alrightish-ish. *shrugs*

my last night of being a minor - time to move on to more major things.

YAY I CANT WAIT FOR TOMORROW!

semi lazy tuesday today, coz i didnt have to go to school so early. but went for pw at 9.30 anyway. and econs at 11 as well.

i actually had a hot breakfast today! scrambled eggs =) i was so amazed that i was actually bothered to cook them so early in the morning but it was totally worth it.

then was service learning at HOPE. wow, just so in awe of what happened there but firstly and most importantly thank you Lord for just making things work out so wonderfully and not without many a-winding turns haha. just thinking back at how hectic is was and gragh-ing compared to the last bit where it just sailed right on through. it was hard not to worry, but i tried my bestest not to coz it was in my Father's hand =) isn't just so amazing that even though God is so huge and He has the mountains to care about, yet He still has the time and will to help little people like me with my service learning. *beams*

and after every victory,

In Christ Alone
Brian Littrel

In Christ alone will I glory
Though I could pride myself in battles won
For I’ve been blessed beyond measure
And by His strength alone I’ll overcome
Oh, I could stop and count successes like diamonds in my hands
But those trophies could not equal to the grace by which I stand

In Christ alone
I place my trust
And find my glory in the power of the cross
In every victory
Let it be said of me
My source of strength
My source of hope
Is Christ alone

In Christ alone do I glory
For only by His grace I am redeemed
For only His tender mercy
Could reach beyond my weakness to my need
And now I seek no greater honor in just to know Him more
And to count my gains but losses to the glory of my Lord

In Christ alone
I place my trust
And find my glory in the power of the cross
In every victory
Let it be said of me
My source of strength
My source of hope
Is Christ alone

what a day. it start off too well though but,

'dont let it steal your joy'

haha that really put things into perspective. anyway, it's hard to be annoyed all the time plus you live longer when you're happy says the gp comprehension =D

went to see the fireworks yesterday! coz uncle jeff got a room at the ritz carlton so we went up there and ate popcorn and watched the olympics til it started =) and ohmygoodness it was soo pretty! yay, have a real good photo of one of them. yea. it was nice

yesterday was the last day of slack before i get onto the promo studying thingy. coz i've already got a timetable done which is really just a guideline but now that i've set the start date i'll stick to it. yay for written-down-will

so i spent it making a thank you card for aunty sam for service learning even though i dont really like it that much coz i think it's too glittery, but oh well.

the more i read eldest, i keep being irritated with christopher paolini coz he totally lifts quotes from other places like lotr, pirates, macbeth etc etc. which i wouldnt even realise unless i know the stuffs back to front but still. and the more i read it the less i like it somehow. *shrugs* but the next book is coming out soonish..

i miss cca.

missions is not about being guilt tripped into doing it and it's not a chore or a duty. there's love involved. geez

Christ-awareness vs self-awareness. 'He must become greater; I must become less.' imagine every thought that you think, you know it comes from God and what ever you do even when you're not thinking about it, you know it's what God wants you to do.

how amazing would that be.

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Give Them All To Jesus
Phil Johnson and Bob Benson

Are you tired of chasing pretty rainbows?
Are you tired of spinning round and round?
Wrap up all those shattered dreams of your life
And at the feet of Jesus, lay them down.

Give them all, give them all, give them all to Jesus
Shattered dreams, wounded hearts, and broken toys.
Give them all, give them all, give them all to Jesus
And He will turn your sorrows into joy.

He never said you only see sunshine,
He never said there would be no rain.
He only promised a heart full of singing
About the very thing that once brought pain.

Give them all, give them all, give them all to Jesus
Shattered dreams, wounded hearts, and broken toys.
Give them all, give them all, give them all to Jesus
And He will turn your sorrows into joy.

I know you've washed me white,
Turned my darkness into light
I need your peace to get me through,
To get me through this night
Can’t live by what I feel
But by the Truth your work reveals,
I'm not holding on to you
But you're holding on to me,
You’re holding on to me

Jesus you know
Just how far the East is from the West
I don't have to see the man I've been,
Come rising up in me again
In the arms of your mercy I find rest
'cause you know just how far the East is from the West,
From one scarred hand to the other.

listened to this on the way to school today, and i just felt all the burdens just lift from me and i was like. wow, it's just amazing. so so amazing. i dont have to be down, i have no reason to be sad.

last night when i was lying in bed trying to get to sleep, i was thinking - this grace that God's given to us, we sooooooOOooo didn't deserve it. but God gave it to us coz when He looks at us, He sees Jesus and as much as He loves Jesus, He loves us. alright, to be fair i didnt think all of this on my own. it's a mixture of sunday's sermon and other meditations. but i was just lying there going 'wow isnt that the good news?'

i'm pretty certain of asking mrs loi about the hearing God's voice thing, after hearing what others said about the awesome prayer session last friday. some may not be ready, but some definitely are. it's like they've had a taste of the nicest lolly and just want to have more.

i feel like i'm seeing the world again with a whole new pair of eyes sometimes, like i've never seen them before. and i can't help thinking what on earth i was doing all those past 16 years? how come no one told me about this relationship, when i was in nz, when i was younger. why did i only find out about it now, when i come back to singapore, in plmc, in sajc. what were all the years before for?

and i just found out what hallelujah means: it's hebrew for 'let us praise God'.

i must have said it thousands of times without knowing what it meant. we really need to know the power of what we say.

thank God for all the things He's done for me.

really.

like seriously, no one else in the world could have made service learning all work out to something good which actually just came out of my own selfish laziness. no one would love me that much, they'd just go 'huh serves you right' and i totally agree coz at that point i was thinking 'huh serves me right' coz i dont even love myself that much to glance over that terrible mistake that i did.

so another gold for God! coz there's none of me in this, yet again =)

and now i really understand the whole displacement-distance thingy that i saw the other time during qt.

i did maths til my eyes nearly popped out and i could nearly hear the sizzling in my head.

didn't watch the tabletennis coz of said maths and i really need to get a move on with the revision coz seriously this is starting to not get v good..

so, no more grey's, and no more random tv moments.

had cell at church, after service after meeting alyssa and then ethel and then the both of them. i guess i stil havent said anything coz i just dont want it to be true and if i'm still struggling to see it in a good way, how much harder is it for you?

<3 you lots and lots dear, but God has a plan for you yeah. jeremiah 29:11 and all.

geez but i really didnt think the sharing each others burdens would kick in so fast =( guess that's why i've been a bit mopey.

tessa came over after lunch to scan some stuff. hooray for working out the scanner! and when jie came back and realised that tessa saw the whole horrible mess on the desk she shrieked and texted tessa her apologies. no comment.

(coz i've already commented plenty)

i'm in such a lazy dazy mood. but i better get some stuff to do for fizzix consultation tmr.

Refiner's fire
My heart's one desire
Is to be holy
Set apart for You, Lord
I choose to be holy
Set apart for You, my Master
Ready to do Your will

got back from ocip teambonding camp today! from last night, was pretty slack and relack compared to the other time which was awesome. actually had time to shower and take photos! yay =) the team's great!

i like bananas,
i think that mangoes are sweet,
i like papayas,
but nothing can beat
the sweet, the sweet love of God!

went to kreta ayer senior activity centre and seriously i am way more of a kids person. and my chinese and dialect (what dialect?) officially cannot make it. =(

nz won the rowing! =D and valerie villy might win the gold whoo hoo! and i really hope singapore can get gold for tabletennis - pei fen the day of gold might come faster than you think! haha. and i still havent watched tom daley dive yet hmf

shucks i have homework. and promos are in like 5 weeks. gr

ahh, midweek mania =)

cca was great on wednesday, lots of prayer and worship and more prayer and running around screaming duck duck GHOST HAHA benedict! love them all so so much! >3 <-whatever that means..

scripture reading at the j2 assembly today, wasnt so bad coz i felt more prepared than last week.. what was i doing last week anyway? hm =) it's so nice to see the j2s again, v encouraging haha.

cmw skit was today, and it went so well!! ah praise the Lord =) heard the sermon by pastor samuel poon from the back of the cc and i just felt this like opening of hearts i dunno how to say it.. like suddenly it was much lighter and the invisible barriers just disappeared.. hm.

can't wait for tomorrow when it's the j1s turn! i'll make sure i bring my camera too =D

ocip teambonding camp tmr too! this one's a mild fun one though, yayy.

ah this weekend has been restful yayy =)

and i was soo glad that ocip outing was cancelled and i just had time to rest and practice mw with sammie! yay so excited for tomorrow! and not coz of the maths test and yeah.

i need to do qt soonish. feeling very like, um gan kor. as jon choy would say. mmhm. the 17th is coming!

oh man this month is going to zip by and i cant wait.. so many things happening soonish but not that far away hahaha

aaand i left my Bible at hannah's place. what the.

want to go swimming!

feel like something great's going to happen this week. thank you dear for praying for me and committing everything to God. felt so rejuvenated after that, like the whole yoke was lifted off and cheers to claiming the victorious life!

love you =)

Testify To Love
Avalon

All the colour of the rainbow
All the voices of the wind
Every dream that reaches out
That reaches out to find where love begins
Every word of every story
Every star in every sky
Every corner of creation lives to testify

For as long as I shall live
I will testify to love
I'll be a witness in the silences
When words are not enough
With every breath I take
I will give thanks to God above
For as long as I shall live
I will testify to love

From the mountains to the valleys
From the rivers to the seas
Every hand that reaches out
Every hand that reaches out to offer peace
Every simple act of mercy
Every step to kingdom come
All the hope in every heart will speak
what love has done

oh.

um. it's been like almost a week since i last blogged, and yeah so everything worked out for the service learning thing, and i'm just waiting for aunty sam to reply and stuff..

claiming promises! it'll be alright.

erm, wednesday was cca! yay i don't know how much i love those ppl =D had a talk with priscilla and rachel with chesed and victor before too.. hm.

and econs test was then too and i think i did alrightish hopefully and yeah really hope it did. i need to study for cse coz since we had so few assignments for our ca, this upcoming one is like 10% of the whole promos. like woe! yeh. so. must get onto it. tomorrow. or maybe monday morning. oh man!

on thursday i was sooooo psyched that the school thinking week was over. like seriously. sleeping late and waking up 10 minutes earlier everyday really adds up to something substantial. that and trying to finish all the gp and maths which snuck up from Who Know's Where and decided to fall on my head.

ptl that He gave me the strangth and awakeness to finish it! and going early to morning worship is really something different and it's like 10 mins earlier really changes your day. that and listening to stronger, this is our God and healer like 3 times a day this whole week =) nothing like hillsongs to get your morning going in the right direction

friday was national day celebs! had the costume thingy, then went to ps with the pk ppl! had subway standing up haha. loves spotlight. went back to my house to watch the last emperor which was a real depressant. we came in all chirpy and bouncing and left like zombies. or maybe that was from the trashy mtv crap we watched after. whichever

guitar lessons on friday! omger simon teachers in chinese and thank goodness i know the theory he's talking about already if not i seriously wont be able to get it in chinese hahah. jie wont be coming for the next 2 lessons coz of her busy conference schedule =(

and today. got up at 11.30 like wOw it was awesome i had the bestest sleep of my week and i really needed it so badly =) watched the opening ceremony of the olympics - GO CHINA!!! whooOOhoo! so proud of them like seriously. the lights, the fireworks was just AMAZING. qi miao and everything! =O seriously wowing. and in your face you up yourself countries ha.

and the commentator was kiwi. but a little headless. but yay for team kiwi!! the one thing that really struck me was the dove. the shape of a white dove that covered the myriad of modern china. cse tells me that it's emphasising the peaceful rise, but that's a promise right there man.
dove over china. so beautiful, it really took my breath away when i saw that.

good job china! =)

the ndp's going to look like pittles compared to that.

oh and i watched dark knight tonight. it is NOT something you should watch by yourself seriously. i practically watched it through my fingers and i jumped more than a couple of times haha. but omger the joker was fantastic. like o m ger fanTAStic. and i ate the whole tub (what do you call a thing of popcorn?) of the small popcorn all by me onesy. that plus the gross meepok i had for lunch was pretty bleaugh now that i'm thinking of it.

but the popcorn was soo goood.

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some people are just so different that when they speak you can just feel indignance rising coz what they just say normally just rubs you the wrong way even though they seriously dont know it.

and the world is so superbly screwed. watched a video about mardi gras in america and how terrible it's become. it was ORIGINALLY an EASTER festival. in FRANCE. how on earth did it get so corrupt and obscene?

praise the Lord who is faithful!

aunty sam replied today just as i was having dinner and i really just wanted to start singing =D

For out of the abundance of the heart his mouth speaks.

it really takes a whole different spin on what we say and why..

finally had cell yesterday and it was such a release to just be there even if there wasnt much to be said, but i came back and i felt so much lighter! i really feel like we're on unstable ground that's always moving and changing and transforming into something new =) like the tectonic plates or something..

oh why WHY did you have to do that? to get recognition? it's someone else's ground, at least go about it in a less intrusive way.. argh, there's no way i'm giving in to this. grr. it's completely uncalled for. and uneeded (does that have 2 ns?)

gah. alright. going to do homework now, lots of things ahead!

I want to care for others like Jesus cares for me,
Let Your reign fall upon me

open house today, tiring but lots of fun! coz i learnt new chords and a new way of strumming. i think i almost have the hang of it haha =)

ah tyG for every single one of them!

Be Thou My Vision

Be Thou my Vision, O Lord of my heart;
Naught be all else to me, save that Thou art.
Thou my best Thought, by day or by night,
Waking or sleeping, Thy presence my light.

Be Thou my Wisdom, and Thou my true Word;
I ever with Thee and Thou with me, Lord;
Thou my great Father, I Thy true son;
Thou in me dwelling, and I with Thee one.

Riches I heed not, nor man’s empty praise,
Thou mine Inheritance, now and always:
Thou and Thou only, first in my heart,
High King of Heaven, my Treasure Thou art.

High King of Heaven, my victory won,
May I reach Heaven’s joys, O bright Heaven’s Sun!
Heart of my own heart, whatever befall,
Still be my Vision, O Ruler of all.

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have had this in my head since i got back home and was singing it all the way to dinner and back haha. just realised i have quite a lot to do and i havent slept in at all. shucks.

wow has my week gone 180.

but then i'm always super happy on fridays =)

right. sooo

Service Learning has officially been labelled [CRISIS] so i'm praying that Hope will accept and the other jc in the morning will go fly kite (fly kite fly kite all the rest can go fly kite) haha yup will call again soon. but God has been good, and has lifted the burden completely from me which is just wow =)

PW hm. been pretty slackish since we anticlimatised from the pilot test but the group's all good and yeah.

Leadership Retreat on wed was sooo not a retreat just a code word for 1 day camp but at least it wasnt physical. i really felt ice shoot through my veins when i heard pushups. like seriously i think i really panicked there for a few secs. but it was good and mr cl should definitely smile more often.

SFC! yay my wonderful wonderful sfc =) painted the banner on wed after the retreat and i'm just soooo thankful for everyone there really really they're like the bestest ppl on earth =D and even though we've been rushing like crazy for open house this week it's been all cool, and i'm glad everyone works so well together and God's hand is really upon us and greater things are still to be done ppl! mission week is coming up soonish

said my speech today and i was completely nervous before. but after we sang great is thy faithfulness and stuff it just all came back to me who we're all here for. when human emotions take over it's so hard to see and uncloud your mind to what the real focus is. and thank the Lord i pinned my badge on relatively straight haha =)

ah i just feel sooooooo blessed today

Pardon for sin and a peace that endureth
Thine own dear presence to cheer and to guide;
Strength for today and bright hope for tomorrow,
Blessings all mine, with ten thousand beside!

open house tmr! i'm so excited for what's going to happen. not just for open house, but like later on and on =D