"Greater love has no one than this,
that he lay down his life for his friends."

John 15:13

Basecodes | Images & Background
Copyright S.R★ Productions.
© SpoiltRADI.O★™

oh goodness

adults are so unreasonable i cant stand it. just coz you're older doesnt mean you know better and can treat younger people like ____. rah. we're busy too you know, we have things to do, deadlines to meet and WITH HELD INFORMATION DOES NOT HELP ANYONE. good grief.

stopitstopitstopit.

this whole newnessity and crap going on at home is really unsettling and today i felt like laughing so hard until i'd cry or maybe that was just the rum from the chocolate muffins. whatever the case, there's this whole upheaval and i'm just struggling to hold on to the doorknob while the tornado rages on in Kansas, trying to get to the quiet place and just waiting for someone to hold on to my arm and pull me inside the warm dry house with wooden boards...

HAHA mary just came online. ho ho ho

hm.

you know how they say it's hard to forgive people you don't know?

feels like it's the other way around sometimes. or most of the time. for now anyway. coz when it comes to people you dont know, you give them more leeway- maybe they just dont know you that well, whatever they said, they didnt know it would hurt so much, it's ok. you dont know if they really meant it so much, coz you dont know them so well, so forget about it, it's alrightish.
but when it comes to ppl that you know so well, that you know they know you so well, and they say just the most hurtful things that really shakes you to the core. so why would they say it? with the intention of hurting? and if they didnt why didnt they say sorry? or explain themselves. do they even know what they did. are they really that insensitive. maybe i should have known that, should have known better.

i know nothing from the outside can shake me. coz of th support i have on the inside. so what if part of the inside starts rotting away? as it turns out, i guess you can only have one support. but then everything shifts and reshuffles - where do i put them then?

there's certain amount of Denial in this.

finally. everything catches up. thanks for ruining my sunday. the whole week had been tainted, somewhere in the background. i'm just going to wait for my head to clear. i feel like one of my limbs have been sawn off, and i cant function properly until its all fixed.

i think that was somewhat cathartic. i feel better already.

------------------

the power that conquered that grave lives in me.
your love that rescued the earth lives in me.

-----------------

Spirit Touch Your Church
Kim Bollinger

Lord, I need Your grace and mercy.
I need to pray like never before.
I need the power of your holy spirit
To open Heaven's door

Spirit touch Your church,
stir the hearts of men.
Revive us Lord with your passion once again.
I want to care for others
Like Jesus cares for me.
Let your reign fall on me.
Let your reign fall on me.

Lord we humbly come before You.
We don't deserve of You what we ask.
But we long to see Your glory
Restore this dying land.

Spirit touch Your church,
stir the hearts of men.
Revive us Lord with your passion once again.
I want to care for others
Like Jesus cares for me.
Let your reign fall on me.

Let your reign fall on me.

-------------

it's so easy to blog and rant about sad stuff when you're sad.

just need to take a step back, view the whole situation. breathe in breathe out. and remember. clear your head, unfog your eyes, calm the hammering heart, swallow.

ah i'm so lazy to blog. wutver.

yo yo pupupluh

havent blogged for a while coz i was .. um. i dunno. i didnt feel like it i guess haha.

yup so. commendation was on friday, the way the yelled out their responses was pretty darn freaky even for ppl who've been to church before. honestly dont they think of such things? or maybe they just want to revel in the fact that they're yelling in a church. mmhm.

yesh so that was that, went out to town with min fang after to get some track pants for the camp after... ended up getting suuooper huuooge ones coz they didnt have anything smaller pootothem but ohwell.. had an eclair pretzal nyummy and a real good refreshing lime thingythingy =)

got back home and had a chat with mum even though i wanted to get a nap before camp. threw my things together and went back to school for a writer's ink meeting. they're doing a skit thing for cip for primary kids for some creativity workshop or something. which was really really cute with singaporean giants and unicorns with finger horns haha j/j. nah it was real cute =) didnt want to go though coz i've already missed out a couple of fridays from pw etc.

met shane after with the shower curtain pole thingy which extends and is pretty funky for a pole. and then it was camp-

- swirling wave of nonstop joggingpumpingcrunchesdrinkingupfillingupthegaps and teamworkcommunicationYELLINGdownupdownup and areyouokmutedsuntiredeyestiredeverything sorelegscowboywaterwaterneedtosleep and endurance run in the rain which was probably the best bit coz it was cooling and it didnt hurt coz you're like moving so consistently and all and it was the last part of the camp ha!-

camp was.. tiring. coz we werent charged to begin with. and when i went home i could hear the yelling in my head = I but i bought myself chips and toblerone coz i felt i deserved it haha

then it was the musical! omger it was so totally awesome awesome and i'm like :O at how professional it was! like coooooool beans. and it's even better than the macleans one coz ms loh practically wrote it all by her onesy songs and all which is Pretty Darn Impressive to put it Very Very Mildly. pity there wasnt a live orchestra though =) was good to see everyone there, havent seen them for ages and ages and it's strange seeing them all dressed up when you only remember them in school uniform haha. and i guess i've changed too coz you sort of get the idea when ppl look you up and down with like this ohh look on their face. lol. but i pity the ppl who've only seen me at school. coz it's like. yeah. so not me. in Pl anyway. sa's different.

coz you get to wear coloured socks HAHA

seeing them all on fri which is super soon and about time! yay

right so that was saturday night, um sunday was cool, though cell was cancelled saw everyone again.. took biscuits from church haha and met the others just as i was going home. legs were super sore at the time and completely baulked when brandon asked to play soccer at 4 haha. went home to sleep. was supposed to get up at 4.15 but jo didnt call and my phone was awol so i slept right through til 5.30! but the sleep was good =) only managed to do eom though.

but God is good and managed to scrape by econs and maths without completing the tutorials tyG! =D met with the exco girls coz chesed still wasnt feeling so good. but the meeting was good. got back late though, the first of many days this week..

tues was.. alrightish, nothing eventful went for subway cookies at toa payoh with the guys before pw and gp lecture which was omger like zzing ttm but made the voucher thingys so it didnt get so bad. absolutely loves coloured pencils again! <3 yay then after chesed called sam's phone coz mine died and said he's feeling better!! =)

then it was today, i've been trying to get all the stupid differentiation (yes it's back) qs the whollle week with alicia being inspiration to each other haha! but just cant seem to get them all done. but i think i'm up to the last 2 but oh well. i'll do it tmr. sometimes i just have to peel my eyes open i dunno how on earth i manage to get so tired.

NEED TO SLEEP. and find my phone which has gone awol and is on silent. ruh

OH and i'm GOING TO CHIANGMAI THAILAND FOR OCIP! with chesed and wei wen and gen and min fang and zhong zhi yay! =)

wow.

awesome in this place man. like yeah. wow.

there are higher purposes, like totally. and when you get even a glimpse of it it's like O.O it's so up there that you totally can't grasp the tiny sliver that you've been shown and cant even begin to imagine how the whole thing is together!

=)

--------------

i dunno where my eom is. mmHMm

I Will Run To You
Hillsongs

Your eye is on the sparrow
And Your hand, it comforts me
From the ends of the Earth to the depth of my heart
Let Your mercy and strength be seen

You call me to Your purpose
As angels understand
For Your glory, may You draw all men
As Your love and grace demand

And I will run to You
To Your words of truth
Not by might, not by power
But by the spirit of God

Yes I will run the race
'Till I see Your face
Oh let me live in the glory of Your grace

---------------------------

you know how i said i had only a handful of things to thank God for? yeah, well today, multiply in by a couple of hundred thousand millions along with a rock of purpose and a tender hand and let's all PRAISE THE LORD!

=)

i think my throat is getting sore. haha must be the singing at strange octaves :P

so much to do, so little time, but all the way i know i'm in your hand and

you'll never let me go

it puzzles me, how can you be so wonderful and great and wonderful and awesome when it's just me?

i've got the joy joy joy joy down in my heart, YEAH! =D

ilY!

To God be the glory

To God be the glory

To God be the glory

For the things He has done



With His blood He has saved me

With His power He has raised me



To God be the glory

For the things He has done.



Stuff to PTL for!



A (75%) for maths =D

B (63%) for fizzix

C (58%) for econs (missed a B by ONE MEASLY MARK)

D (49.5% round up to 50%) for gp

B (60%) for china studies



yup! so yayyyy thank YOU so much!



and also for the awesome pilot test that we had today =) i can see why they got so attached to the kids they had for 5 days.



and also for dennis for pointing out the most horriblest problem in our wr.



and also for pe lessons and carrots.



-------------------------------



on a different more grumbly note, why are they sometimes just so uerueruugh, surely they OLD enough to do the better thing? and be the better person? seriously this is just choking up my throat and i dont even know why i'm just so annoyed at you when you havent done anything wrong (recently).



and yeah you had a great time, and i dunno why the little green monster is coming up and it sucks terribly becoz sometimes you dont spare a thought and it's you and i cant talk to anyone coz i cant talk to you.



i'm preparing for something big on the 17th. please just put me in my place.



there's something wrong with me atm. like this bitterness (bile comes into mind) in my throat, in my head it's cloudy and maybe and probably something's up with my ling hun.



'what do you feel like doing then?'

'i feel like... ' sitting under the sky forever with the guitar and spending time with you.
'.. sleeping.'

wiwwm =(

at least i'm playing soccer with the girls on thurs. after doing the ocip flag thingythingy. and i want to go watch dark knight on fri after the commendation. and there's cca tomorrow! and morning worship =) and shane's in my ocip camp group! and the musical in on saturday so i can see the gang (miss you muchess), and and camp is about 2 days so i can get away from __. and i know what to wear for the thanksgiving service.

and i do have much to give thanks for.

miss you.

it like had to pour.

HAHAH

soccer was absolutely terrible today. k well the guys were fine and wonderful as always but i was like. mhm. so out of touch. and out of focus. and out of exercise. and out of .. it. all. yeh. suckers.

anniversary sunday today! saw tons and tons of ppl man, so good to see them all again even if it was a bit. weird, coz yeah. missed out and everything. urgh. i dont want to be like yl who i never see anymore coz they're really the awesomest ppl i know (one group of them anywho) and like i dont want to .. drift? yeah.

lunched with them, and it was SUPER HOT TODAY.

and now it's pouring. yay! better go to bed soonish so i can sleep while it rains :P

um. finished the planners today =) properly properly with string and everything so that's great, and did my maths assignment yesterday night in like less than half an hour. did it on my bed just before i went to sleep. haha

it's strange the people i end up getting along with.

PE TOMORROW! yay for exercise.

and i've rediscovered a love for carrots. boiled and not too mushy. =) i was cutting them up just now and suddenly i thought 'carrot juice constitutes murder' and i'm like noooooo ethel fong see what you did!!! hmf. there is NO SUCH THING AS CARROT MURDER. grr

miss you guys muches, see you on the 19th! <3

i needa changa blogskin soonish

PTL PTL PTL PTL PTL!!! *loves YOU!*

PTL!

yayy =) got most of my ct marks back, but i'll put them all up when i get gp back too. looks nicer hahah

oh man pw today was the awesomest. but i dunno, there was something missing.. but i havent thought of what it is yet.

but practically wise it was real great, as in i think we managed to teach them how to use the planner, and jiang jun was awesome with the kids =) haha reminds me of luke a little. so we didnt go to school today, but after we finished it seemed like it was more tiring than school! :P

fell asleep on the bus going to parkway, like seriously did. only woke up to hear dip say something like 'oh you got a * for econs.' like just dropped it on me and i'm like 'whaaa-? ohhh..' hahah

went for burger king, even though after supersize me i'm kinda off fast food for a longish while. mmf. but oh well.

hopped over to macs for discussion - ARGH I NEED TO FIND THE MINUTES! and i need to exercise. which has nothing to do with each other. but yeh. Loves Nac, so good to have you back in my hands!! <3

the sun was real good for black and whites today in the afternoon, but like after seeing nigel's awesome awesome photo i'm like : I like. wow. understatement.

hm. i'm seeing funny colours on msn. kk. need to sleep.

photos of today up tomorrow anthony!

yo yo yumbaarr!

can one die of starvation of information? the not knowing my ct results is really killing me.

ohhh service learning thou suckest to the maxest. rrrph.

um um. ushering was er. sfc was the schizzle as always, almost fell asleep though

can't wait for the weekend. am sick of paper and planners.

missed you eden! never know what you've got til it's gone,
didn't realised how much til yesterday <3

sniff. i need meiji chocolate.

haha!

hm hmmm. well actually i wasnt that happy about much yesterday. or yesterday yesterday. with the unhappening brunch and the huge burden and that terrible feeling of uselessness. but yeah man thank God for bringing jie back on time even though it was late haha with the super high eq questions in the early early hour of the morning =)

pastor reuben spoke on sunday which was real good, we're starting the galatians study thing and yeah ahh Love You So So Much!

Not because of who I am.
But because of what You've done.
Not because of what I've done.
But because of who You are.

=)

cell at home, only a few of us but none the less powerful. not really nonetheless, but like none. the. less.

pw after and as usual they were late haha, the guys. went to esplanade and had a mini mass production (if that's possible) of cutting and clear plastic sheets are not my friend haha. sat there in the library till closing time and our bums were sorely sore and fingers were numb. went for dinner at the makan place thingythingy some glutton or somewhat. pigged out on fried rice, stingray, or luak and satay =D then chatted til like 11 haha.

think i've had dinner with jiang jun, anthony and dip more often than like any other group of friends. how strange.

got back at around half past, jo left me such an adorable voice message at like 11.34, and when i reached the room at 11.35 she was fast asleep hahah.

youth day on monday! brunch at swensons *siiigh* i really feel sorry for them, i really do. what kind of childhood would he have had? so moneyminded so young, he really didnt have a childhood. or doesnt have. it's scary to think what he'd be like later on, he's so young still but not really. i was just thinking about the difference between him and wes at that age and it's like 0.0 argh AND THERE'S NOTHING WE CAN DO. sucks to the max man (that i even have to spell it out) why did yOu show me this?? it just makes me feel so useless.

got new shoes though. so i dont have to fight with mum anymore hahha, and jo and i went to chinatown to get some of those funky wrap pants and a $10 dress worthy of china, but it doesnt fit so well =( meh.

mm, and the service learning thing is getting on my nerves, but by God's grace everything will be good.

i watched winnie the pooh on sunday and it made me cry, when i've never cried at that bit before. maybe now i've only ever realised what it meant. maybe that's why it's a kid's show, coz the older ppl cant take it. heh heh hm.

massive cleanup on monday as usual haha but dare i say it, cleaning isss somewhat stressrelieving, oh jie arent you proud of me ;P

oh! highlight of the day: B for fizzix! ahahahaha thank you Lord. and it's the paper the day i woke up at an insane hour to send jie off =)

yay for jie coming back! though i feel kinda bummed that i missed out on so much. not just the fun, but the whoolle thing. i dont want to get left behind, but maybe it's just not my time.

obedience. hm.

there's nothing like a good one hour bus ride to get your head cleared and back into a perspective that you perhaps never had before but now you do.

lazy day today, got up at 10 plusplus or 11 minus and well it wasnt a good start to the day. Ps need to let go a bit sometime. or rather P. and also let go a bit more than a bit. and also more of the time.

and they also have to start getting along with each other for goodness sake you guys are 12 anymore and God gave you both ears to listen and minds to think. and VOICES TO SPEAK and Settle Things and not Keep Them All Bottled Up Inside.

right so i'm still enjoying the blissful ignorance of my ct marks and preparing for the Big Cleanup before jie gets back from china which'll take place probably monday afternoon since she's getting back on monday night.

jo and i took the 53 all the way to the airport today. it was an hour long which was awesome and i was just looking out the window and i realised that the industrial estates are the flattest parts of singapore. which struck me as rather quite strange.

and the sky was beautiful as always, God you take my breath away =)

sent laura off back to palmy to start uni again: God bless you dear cuz! Ephesians 1:17-23 (and say hi to emma for me!)

trained to raffles place for dinner. was looking out the window (again) and saw the busy busy street with tons of cars zooming by like streaks of warmish yellow and red lights, then suddenly right next to it was this hdb flat which was mostly all dark with only those cold flourescent white lightings in and it just looked so neglected, so alone. and just so empty. yeah, then like a *blip* i realised that sg is just as much a Mfield as zg is, perhaps even more. coz there they may not have the resources or the freedom but they have the passion and the flame, the real heart of it. but in sg there are dead kirks even though they're rich ttm. and sgeans hearts are so so hard.

Spirit, Touch Your Church
Kim Bollinger

Lord, we need Your grace and mercy
we need to pray like never before
we need the power of Your Holy Spirit
to open Heaven’s door

Spirit, touch Your church,
stir the hearts of men,
Revive us Lord,
with Your passion once again.
I want to care for others,
like Jesus cares for me
Let Your reign fall on me, Oh Lord,
Let Your reign fall on me.

Lord, we humbly come before You
We don’t deserve of You what we ask
But we yearn to see Your glory
Restore this dying land

Spirit, touch Your church,
stir the hearts of men,
Revive us Lord,
with Your passion once again.
I want to care for others,
like Jesus cares for me
Let Your reign fall on me, Oh Lord,
Let Your reign fall on me,

Send Your reign to fall upon me
-------------------------------------------

alright now i know why jo did that thing that she did this evening at the airport. it all ties in together, closes doors, open windows sort of thing yeah.

show me more

college day today. yip left school earlier, our watches were set about 2 hours too fast HA went off to vivo and watched 21! which is awesome by the way everyone should watch haha

way waaaay better than all the others that are out now.. like um zohan and get smart and hancock etc etc um yeah so it's awesome?

yeah then just hung out had sbway took pictures at the pseudo sand with the yikky water and unfriendly pokey grass with ants hahah but it was fun =) and i've only known them for a month!

jie's coming back soon and the room's a mess.

a vhub to ethel! sorry i havent been messaging =( I HAVENOT FORGOTTEN ABOUT YOU DEAR!

jeli darlingest, don't beat yourself up too much k, it's just the begininning and yeah even though you arent my sister yet, here's a verse for you coz it cheers me up and gives me hope when i need it =)

'For I know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.' Jeremiah 29:11

(there's more after which is nice too)

and aly i cant see your blog! but hope yo'ure having an awesomest beyond awesomest time in masscomm and miss you tons!

today was a good day. at the end part haha. after the lessons ended =)

felt terrible this morning for strange reasons of the unknown. had to sit down in the middle of assembly coz i felt faintish like i hadnt eaten (but i did!!) so yeh that sucked.. then after was waiting for an hour for lecture and i think i actually fell asleep on the canteen table (gross ttm) but at least it was on peifen's blazer carrier thingus. my eyes have been super tired for absolutely no reason at all whatde.

jo says maybe my degree's gone down. riiiiiiiiiiiiiight.

'early night tonight?'

sure. *stays up til 11 to read lionboy (which rocks ttm haha!)*

anyway, had lunch with ben, nigel, samantha, chesed, elsa and samuel at the coffee shop with the blue chairs at the indian temple. actually i didnt eat then coz it'd eaten before but we just went there to sit and listen in on some seriously strange and somewhat warped conversations and sterotypes. there was plenty wrong in the arguments that he had but my brain was too sluggish from the heat and sleepy eyes to pick them out.

*hates global warming* what on earth did you people do?? (could there be a more apt question. ha.)

oh yeah then after went back to school for pre worship worship! haha which just makes my tiny musical inclinations look like well, more tiny haha! but acoustic electrics are the schizzle man =) and i sort of learnt B. somewhat. and my strumming sounds nicer when i dont think about it. haha but going for guitaring lessons from someone from the ms soonish.

and suddenly my july is looking more packed. but it's july! like the second half of the year aldy. shuckers. but actually i'm wanting it to zip by coz I CANT WAIT FOR CHRISTMAS ALREADY! yayy =D methinks i should start my Christmas card list soonish. i've met a whole bunch of new ppl since jc started and my msn contacts has like doubled? mm.

i'll be still. do your will.

why isnt there a psalm 81:17? i need to get my reception right =(

it's been a while but i've finished cts, went bowling, had an awesome weekend, guitared til my fingers peeled and WENT SHOPPING!! yayy =)

finally my holidays are here even though the whole going to school part gets in the way sometime. but now it's an absolute waste of time coz it's only lectures and all very blah coz they're going through the papers and I JUST WANT MY MARKS BACK!. mmf

yep. in the computer lab now, jie's stil away, oh and sent the rest of them off on saturday. mary spoke on sunday which was great and had the big birthday bash on saturday too.

err. can't be bothered blogging much now coz like i setn an age long email to jie over in china which was like all the happenings from fri til now and i cant be stuffed repeating it all over again. but yeh

EMMA: hellooooOOoo! gonna miss you tons and have a great time at uni =)

oh and spain won the euro which was great, just that torres scored and i dont like torres precisely coz *other* people like him and well he looks like a girl. mmhm. but yay for jiayu who blogged! congratulations dear. even if you did post about something of non-ness =P

doopdoop. maths now. cant wait to go hommmme and have a shower and wtch pirates til i fall asleep. yayy