Saturday, March 07, 2009
like woah. talk about a busy busy week.
i'm so excited about easter week! yayyy like finally i can see the importance and point of it and really, how awesome it is. i know it's kinda late for this to happen but well, better late then never aye.
i'm so blessed by the people around me, especially my dear sfc people. each of them help me to stand in school, even if just by seeing them i feel better. i hit a low this wed, after cross country. that was the ultimate i just want to curl up and die and leave this to someone else type of mess with a whole tirade of nonsensical whatnot that i couldnt even process coz i was so tired.
and weiwen just said 'i think we need to pray' and i felt like crap. because i had forgotten, the most important thing - that this is God's and not mine, i didn't talk to my boss, my guide, my friend and it was like a 'duh. no wonder' sort of moment.
and even though physically i feel wasted, falling asleep during lecture, not understanding my maths tutorial, there's something inside that keeps me going - this joy that just keeps burning coz i know what i'm doing counts, and it counts big. my block tests can go screw itself coz what i'm doing impacts eternity. so yeah, even though i'm tired, i'm fine inside. in a completely fine way, and not a fine,whatever sort of thing.
man i'm just soaking in this experience, really - i'm learning so much and it's awesome. God works, and that's a fact. having to do all the proposals, having to read and delve and study, it's fantastic to be renewed daily, i love it. i really love what i'm doing.
on another note,
people fail, they fall. everyone makes mistakes. the higher up you go, the further you fall down. but what makes the difference is what happens after you fall. do you stay down, or do you keep climbing, learn from it and hold on tighter.
so dont let this get you down alright, it's natural to disappoint sometimes, but there's also forgiveness and love that's still around. pick yourself up and do better this time =)
in any case, i still love you!
10:52 pm
